One of the reasons I didn’t tell a lot of people about the redundancies at work was because I didn’t want the following reactions:
a) WHAT! OH MY GOD! SHIT! HOW CAN THEY DO THAT? THAT SUX! – Bewilderment
b) Oh no, I’m so sorry, are you ok? 😦 – Pity
c) Haha! Serves you right you ingrate! – Mocking
The other reason was that I didn’t care to explain to people what it is, how and why it happened and how I’m not actually cut up about it. Should I be? Well, clearly, I should. According to the reactions I got, thats what I should’ve been.
I suppose the third and more cynical reason was, I really didn’t see how this was any one’s business. I think when you choose not to tell someone you consider a friend, about something significant that happens in your life, you’re invariably demonstrating your closeness (or lack there of) to that person. The other thing I didn’t need was useless and hollow opinions and feelings. No, you don’t know what its like and no, you don’t care. An element of caring and being a good friend is someone who actually tries to help you through the shit.
I’m not even in the shit.
Oh crap, now my blog will appear in a search for “shit maryam”.
If you’ve read my post creatively detailing my discontent with the job I was in (Sitting, Waiting, Wishing) you’ll know I wasn’t happy here but that didn’t make being made redundant any less funny. Here in rests an example of irony, if ever there was one. Its a little bit like when you are about to dump your boyfriend but he beats you to it.
Other than that, there are many silver linings. These are:
a) I can sleep in.
b) I can resume going to Curves.
c) I can finally get regular driving lessons and therefore get my license (shut up all you haters).
d) I can volunteer at the places I’ve wanted to for a long time (ie, Migrant Resource Centre and working with women and children, teaching them English, etc).
e) I can do all the MYWA stuff I need to (yes!).
f) I can explore other avenues and possible career choices, currently I’m leaning towards the “learning and development” field. I dont know what its called… or how to get in but I think I’d like to be there.
My concerns are:
a) I have to start looking for/worrying about a job (Thanks to my payout, this isn’t an immediate concern).
b) I have to worry about what kind of job I get (another dead end, IT job anyone?).
c) I have to tell my parents where I am all the time (this should be number 1 really)
So if you still feel sorry for me. Get a life.
Although I hate being a statistic, I really feel I’ve exhausted my tenure in IT. I’ve relished the highs of overseas work placements, allowances and swish hotels and I’ve bemoaned the lows of IT culture, lack of work and redundancies. Is there more?
The challenge for me will be paving my way out of IT, to a place where I can expend my energies helping people work their new lives out. Doing something for the community, doing something rewarding. I am a dreamer but I’d rather die trying than ferment in my stasis.
My other consideration is this, am I willing to take the significant pay cut these roles offer? Also dad won’t be able to proudly declare me as anything to his friends. If I’m a community worker he’ll say what to his friends? She teaches women to read good? Doesn’t sound as nice as my daughter’s a Test Engineer (everyone grasps the part they understand, the part about being an Engineer) and my dad is allowed to puff out his chest a little. Perhaps I’m not as altruistic as I imagine myself to be.
Marty: What do you do when you fall off a horse Derek?
Derek Zoolander: stares blankly
Marty: You get back on!
Derek Zoolander: Sorry Marty, I’m not a gymnast.
So yes, I was made redundant on my one year anniversary at cRipple Systems. You’re concerend because…?