Something Will Be

One of the reasons I didn’t tell a lot of people about the redundancies at work was because I didn’t want the following reactions:

a) WHAT! OH MY GOD! SHIT! HOW CAN THEY DO THAT? THAT SUX! – Bewilderment

b) Oh no, I’m so sorry, are you ok? 😦 – Pity

c) Haha! Serves you right you ingrate! – Mocking

The other reason was that I didn’t care to explain to people what it is, how and why it happened and how I’m not actually cut up about it. Should I be? Well, clearly, I should. According to the reactions I got, thats what I should’ve been.

I suppose the third and more cynical reason was, I really didn’t see how this was any one’s business. I think when you choose not to tell someone you consider a friend, about something significant that happens in your life, you’re invariably demonstrating your closeness (or lack there of) to that person. The other thing I didn’t need was useless and hollow opinions and feelings. No, you don’t know what its like and no, you don’t care. An element of caring and being a good friend is someone who actually tries to help you through the shit.

I’m not even in the shit.

Oh crap, now my blog will appear in a search for “shit maryam”.

If you’ve read my post creatively detailing my discontent with the job I was in (Sitting, Waiting, Wishing) you’ll know I wasn’t happy here but that didn’t make being made redundant any less funny. Here in rests an example of irony, if ever there was one. Its a little bit like when you are about to dump your boyfriend but he beats you to it.

Other than that, there are many silver linings. These are:

a) I can sleep in.

b) I can resume going to Curves.

c) I can finally get regular driving lessons and therefore get my license (shut up all you haters).

d) I can volunteer at the places I’ve wanted to for a long time (ie, Migrant Resource Centre and working with women and children, teaching them English, etc).

e) I can do all the MYWA stuff I need to (yes!).

f) I can explore other avenues and possible career choices, currently I’m leaning towards the “learning and development” field. I dont know what its called… or how to get in but I think I’d like to be there.

My concerns are:

a) I have to start looking for/worrying about a job (Thanks to my payout, this isn’t an immediate concern).

b) I have to worry about what kind of job I get (another dead end, IT job anyone?).

c) I have to tell my parents where I am all the time (this should be number 1 really)

So if you still feel sorry for me. Get a life.

Although I hate being a statistic, I really feel I’ve exhausted my tenure in IT. I’ve relished the highs of overseas work placements, allowances and swish hotels and I’ve bemoaned the lows of IT culture, lack of work and redundancies. Is there more?

The challenge for me will be paving my way out of IT, to a place where I can expend my energies helping people work their new lives out. Doing something for the community, doing something rewarding. I am a dreamer but I’d rather die trying than ferment in my stasis.

My other consideration is this, am I willing to take the significant pay cut these roles offer? Also dad won’t be able to proudly declare me as anything to his friends. If I’m a community worker he’ll say what to his friends? She teaches women to read good? Doesn’t sound as nice as my daughter’s a Test Engineer (everyone grasps the part they understand, the part about being an Engineer) and my dad is allowed to puff out his chest a little. Perhaps I’m not as altruistic as I imagine myself to be.

Marty: What do you do when you fall off a horse Derek?
Derek Zoolander: stares blankly
Marty: You get back on!
Derek Zoolander: Sorry Marty, I’m not a gymnast.

So yes, I was made redundant on my one year anniversary at cRipple Systems. You’re concerend because…?

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11 thoughts on “Something Will Be

  1. You go Maryam! I say go with what you feel. Despite the fact many people think IT is a wonderful career (and it can be) if you want out, get out. I am a big believer in pursuing what you want. You are far more likely to do well in something you like rather than in something you think you should be doing (or what someone else tells you to do).

    More power to you.

  2. If it is pay versus passion, I go for passion. Teaching is not a well-paid job but, I’m passionate about it. I am because I teach. If you can’t be what you are in IT then what’s the use, eh? You didn’t really like your job so actually cRipple Systems has been made redundant; crippled without you:-)

  3. Salaamat,
    WHAT? HOW CAN THEY DO THAT! OH SHIT THAT SUCKS!

    awww…are you okay? Huggggggzzzzzzzzzz.

    Serves you right though! ha! ha!

    JUST kidding:) couldn’t resist the corniness of it all 🙂

    is that what they call it there? redundancy? Here its still good ole layoffs.

    I went thru’ it when the dot com world bust open in 2000. It really sucked. But in hindsight, everything did work out in the end.

    you can always go back to school (?). Maybe look into different grad programs, law school?, i don’t know…Inshaallah you’ll find that which will give flight to your soul (amin).

  4. saly: aww thanks! lol 🙂

    Maliha: and you went back to IT full time? Urgh. I have what it takes to break into a BA role but i am seriously doubting my chances in Perth. The market’s like… i dont even know how to describe it. They dont like giving ppl chances, and really there arent many to give. Chick and egg. Whatever.

    I’m trying my hand at learning and development (?!)

    Mr Angry: Cheers big ears! I was told to pursue a career in politics… BIZARRE. I’ve gotten the “you should …” a lot, and its always something different 🙂

  5. Mariam,
    I didn’t right away. I went for an intensive Master’s degree in Islamic Studies/Comparative religions. It was the best and most challenging year I had. Then took a break cuz i had a baby…

    I just got back in the field as a contractor (allows me much flexibility and much needed quick money); while i scope out which Phd. programs I want to apply to.

    I would like to be a prof. and spend my life teaching/writing/travelling…Inshaallah…we’ll see.

  6. my point…use this time to figure out what other avenues are available to you…

    and start working towards that goal.

    Maybe you can look into entry level BA positions? The money might be less; but it will be a leg up into the field?

  7. Maliha, yup, that’s exactly what i’m trying to do… but like i said, i live in Perth. The chances ofthat happening are slim.

    But wow, an intensive Masters in Islamic Studies and Comparative Literature? Sheesh! Where’d you study that? We don’t have any such things here :S

  8. Salaamat,
    Not comp. literature but religions:) i am really thinking about doing a Phd in comparative literature though.

    It’s funny how so unrelated all my backgrounds are. I don’t know how to fuse them into a proper narrow phd thesis/program. Oh we’ll see.

    you have the time to search…use it:)

  9. yup do that, do what you really feel you have a passion for. i have been doing the repetitive mistake of gettin’ into what i thought was good for me not what i really loved. hence i never got to finish anything! now that i’ve kinda learned or so(a bit later in life) i’m going to pursue what i actually loved from the very start: humanities, philosophy and literature. yup, at 26, will go back to school tool! yikes, i’m actually frightened of what’s to come but i know i’ll be happy coz it’s what i ‘ve a passion for, so go fer it! 😀

  10. I fell off the horse this summer… I mean literally, I fell off my horse and broke my hand, dislocated my shoulder and hit my head. It was right after I graduated from college and started working a restaurant so that I could take some time to “figure out what to do with the rest of my life.” I had to quit the restaurant and just as I did I was offered an incredible job in Croatia. Great pay, 6 months in Europe, 6 months in the states. I went to Europe twice, first with my mom then alone. I was there for two days and my boss tried to rape me.
    I came home, was unemployed for a month and now I work at a dead-end job in Denver as an Assistan Editor/Bitch. You could say life kind of beat me into submission.
    But I wake up and everyday is better then the last and I know that sooner then later, I’ll find my niche and I’ll make it big. Because like you, I’m a freaking gymnist, damn it!

  11. weekend warrior – WELCOME ABOARD! I’m humbled that you read my “work” and hope that you’ll continue to read it.

    About your personal struggles, I admire your strength. And respect your struggling. Diamonds in the rough don’t become diamonds without the scrubbing… i guess?

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