I’m trying, I really am

To control my temper and make my words less mean and my demeanour less offensive. But what do you do when one thing after the other goes wrong. Angry tension is building up in my veins as I struggle to contain the once dormant rage in my body. There’s only so many times you can forgive, forget, turn the other cheek, that sort of thing. How much is too much. When do you have permission to blow some one out of oblivion? When I was a kid I used to imagine that a space craft would come and suck all my tensions and irritiations away with its mega sucky thing that resembled a vacuum. Imagining this would give me great comfort, though the tensions that plagued my young mind then were just a teaser for the ones that await me in adulthood.

Its a kind of rage that really leaves no room for constructive expression. If you release it, you feel sick. If you don’t release it you feel sick. Anger pumping through your body and tugging at your emotions makes you a crazy person. I would like to revise the laws to include a clause that allows permanent and severe disfiguration to those who persistently Fuck with your whole (body, mind, spirit, trust, love, faith, integrity, kinship, respect, dignity, etc). I would include greater leniency in sentencing those who inflict such acts on members in their close circle of confidants, blood relations, lovers, and the like.


5 thoughts on “I’m trying, I really am

  1. Just express it. Let the expression be destructive rather than constructive. There are no space crafts, sweetheart and that is just so sad. I wish I could take your pain away but this Achelois’s wings have been clipped and powers usurped.

    Know that I love you although I haven’t even seen you. Is that love real when you hurt for a person you know and yet do not know? If it is real, know that I hurt for you.

    This world sucks sometimes.


  2. No guarantees but I think that looking at things from the big picture can help. 10 years from now, how big a deal will this be? After I have passed on, will this be significant?

    I sometimes also wonder how God deals with all the crap. If He can handle it and accept it(and he sees it ALL), then this a good example for me to try to follow.

    Sorry, I wish I had better answers.

  3. Some say that the world is not fair but at the same time others believe that everything happens for a reason. Join the two together and may be you will get an answer.

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