The Consumables Hoax

Just so everyone knows, buying a product does not suck you into a newer or better world where people float on fluffy little clouds and smell nice all the time. I’m sick ofridiculously audacious tag lines on consumables these days.

Take my latest purchase as an example.

I bought a Natio product today, its a hand cream. They must have stopped making the one I originially wanted because I couldn’t find it anywhere on the shelves. Instead I bought 2 items and then got a little packet of things, one of which was a hand cream. The promo pack was free with any 2 purchases and it contained a hand cream, a free lip balm and something else.

That’s all good, I have no issues there, though my friend who was with me at the time of purchase used to be in sales and she convinced me to take Natio up on their “buy 2 and get this free” offer. I’m more of a “go in, if they dont have it, walk out” kind of girl, esp during my lunch break. I hate looking for hand creams.

So got the stuff, got back to work and tried the hand cream. Its smellier than the one I wanted and its a touch heavier. Doesn’t matter, it still absorbed into my skin, which is more than you can say about other hand creams. So that’s fine, it did the job.

After a while I notice notice what the hand cream tube actually says.

Firstly, its pink. As in its in a pink tube – right, so we get it, its meant to be girly.

Second, its from the “absolute” range. You know how products have lines? Well, this is Natio’s “absolute” line. Ok…now I take a closer look and this is what the pink tube professes:




The gift of a soft caress.
Beautifully scented with floral notes.

Almond, shea butter, aloe vera.

The gift of a soft caress? – I’m buying hand cream not sexual favours! For those I’d go to a different store.

Beautifully scented with floral notes. – It isn’t designer perfume, nor am I going to be whisked away into the land of “never-a-bad-smell” with this blob of butter. Its just hand cream, I’ll still be sitting at my desk typing shit once I’ve applied the cream.

Almond, shea butter, aloe vera. – Just incase you wanted to make sure its all authentic. Natio use the best ingredients people, look it says so on their pink tube.

Whatever. It’s just a hand cream. I liked the original unassuming packaging. It was white with black writing and it came in a smaller tube (but that was part of a travel bag, which ofcourse they don’t do anymore). And the cream in that was much better anyway.


4 thoughts on “The Consumables Hoax

  1. Some demon in the marketing department has decided their product can’t stand up on its own merits and so they go to town with the packaging and absurd descriptions.

    You’re not their target market – you’re far too sensible 🙂

  2. It doesn’t stop there Mr Angry. The stuff came with a promotional card with everything about the range on it. Apparently its luxury meets something else.

    fanx for the compliment 🙂

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