- Uncles and Aunties keep asking you when you’re going to Pakistan next. If you’re ethnic, you’ll know that this is code for “So, when are you getting married?”
Logic: When you go to pakistan, you’ll get married. Everyone does. You go there and bam! that’s when it happens. *shudder*
- During 2 separate and spaced out consultations with a Female GP she inquires after your marital status. One of her enquiries went as follows: “So, you’re <insert my age>?” – Yes
“…and still living at home”– Thank you, you’re Indian, you shouldn’t be asking me this!
“Not married?” – An embarassed…err, No…
“Don’t you want to get married? Not interested in anyone?” — At this point I want to cry, and I think my eyes are tearing?
“Then why are you wearing that ring on your finger? You’re discouraging all the boys you know…” There are no boys! Trust me! No one cares about the ring!
(Strangely enough I was asked this question by one of the Policemen I used to work with. Except he set the scene in a bar, ie, if you were sitting at a bar having a drink with your friends, and some guy saw you and wanted to talk to you, he’d see that you were wearing a ring and therefore never appraoch you — The assumptions in this situation notwithstanding, its apparent that I’m not doing myself any favours by wearing jewellery.)
“Its good, you should get married. Its good to have a man around, they can lift heavy things” – Laughing out loud, a little bit at her but mostly at the situation. Only I will get these kinds of comments when I’m there to discuss serious health concerns.
- We’d recently moved buildings and on my way to fill up my water bottle, I passed the boss’s secretary who started to tell me about her trip to Brunei. On her 3 or 4 day stay there, she met some locals (hijabi) women who bragged about their casino going adventures. She had us hijabis sussed out. We’re just a CRAZY bunch!Casual, fun sort of conversation, I walked away giggling.Weekend passes and I’m walking past her desk again. She stops me to tell me about her weekend during which she went to a particular suburb where she saw a lot of Muslim people, specifically a lot of Muslim men. She goes on to tell me that she scoped out some of the Muslim men and contemplated approaching them (for me ofcourse). Obviously at this point I’m losing my mind laughing. Everyone can hear us.She continues on to inform me that she knows a number of lovely Italian men, and asks if they have to be Muslim for me to consider them. I tell her Yes, they do. This conversation takes place right outside the boss’s office, in an open plan office.
- Random kids on forums start a joke that they need to find me a husband, all without me every broaching the topic.
- Your parents seriously consider moving into a smaller (3×2 house) because they’re hoping you’re going to be married by the end of the year. I call this the “No Prisoners” approach. Reminds me of the time this guy on Oprah told everyone who was trying to lose weight to get rid of all their fat clothes so they have no way out BUT to loose all the weight.