Ok so we’re Muslim and everyone has marriage on their mind. Its like having sex on your mind but you’re not allowed to say that. So when girls as young as 13 start their sentences with “When I get married…” I shouldn’t be taken aback.
You’ve heard it before, aunties cooing over you when they think you look pretty.
“Oh gosh you’re so pretty, i’m gonna get you married right away!”. Generally said through tightly clenched teeth. I call it living vicariously.
What is marriage and why is it necessary? Is it necessary or is it just a fad that no one’s bored with yet? I’m not here to answer these questions because foregoing the research required, they’d make for very long entries. And really, I’m not here to extol the virtues of Marriage.
I’m a cancerian, if that means anything to anyone. I’m also big on the marriage thing (in theory). The biggest tragedy to have occurred in my life was that I didn’t meet Jamie Oliver when he was younger. Time, tide and I think naseeb were not on my side. He’s a chef, runs multiple restaurants, has set up a community project that gives direction, discipline and hope to youth at risk, he’s young and he has his own garden that grows everything from onions to lovely red strawberries! This was the man I was meant to meet, marry and have children with. (Un)Fortunately for me, this did not take place.
*A moment’s slience as we grieve over this tragic loss*
I’m a future oriented person. When I think about my future I think about my house, I know what its going to look like. I think about carting children around, being a domestic legend, saggage, as well as possible challenges I’d face as a woman/mother/muslimah. In all of this futuristic thinking and planning, I never once think about my future partner. I can’t.
I can picture being a mom but not a wife because to a very limited degree you get to play mom at various stages in your life (I used to have cats, one died, the other ran away). You get to witness what its like to raise children, what parenthood’s about and above all how they should be disciplined. Also, I like kids, well babies really. I think they’re perfect and they rule the world (not adults). I’ve also been told I will be a matriarch when I have my own family (no, I don’t know why either).
I believe in the institution of marriage. In the love that’s borne out of the commitment and hardships you face as a couple. In the ability of a woman to steer the course of not just her but ten other people’s lives while making birthday party arrangements and finding a solution to world hunger. I believe that marriage and children are where its at. They give meaning to an otherwise meaningless existence.
Technically then, my response to the possiblity of a forever after would be a resounding Yes, right?
I’ll tell you why in the next few posts.