Working Angst

I don’t know why I never posted this. It highlights my frustration while I was at my previous place of employment. Luckily it no longer applies but I still like it and so want to post it.

Still just a rat in a cage.

Despite all my bravado and bold proclamations made in a loud voice about free spirited individuality, being my own boss, not being one to settle for money and other perceived luxuries or being slave to status and public opinion, i find myself, job after job, stuck in the same surrounds. its like a bad habit. the cycle of disenchanted employment, fretful unemployment and more wanton employment. 9 to 5 of boring.

offices. with cubicles. flat panel monitors. security passes. quiet, slightly neurotic, timid colleagues and a boys’ club management. at the best of times i’ve had a coffee machine at my disposal and been flown over seas. at the worst i’ve been harassed by creepy colleagues and disorganised work practices. but always, always been left wanting.

i sit at my desk day in day out and contemplate the meaning of sitting here, day in day out. surely my creativity is being sucked out by assumed expectations. hints i’m gathering from my surroundings. do what the others do and just comply. follow. be a sheep. am i slowly becoming one of them? compliant. quiet. neurotic.

there’s no chance of that happening so while i am working full time i have to find other things that take my fancy. thank god for the interent is all I can say. untill you get stuck in a company that closely monitor your internet activiyt and seem to have blocked hotmail. KILL ME NOW.

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2 thoughts on “Working Angst

  1. “am i slowly becoming one of them? ”

    You’re referring to personality type/behaviour at work? Well, its not the same, but I hate the idea of being called an “IT person”. I’m not technical, don’t want to be technical, and don’t want to be seen as technical. Maybe the stereotype of computers and ‘geeks’ influenced this to a large extent – but i also see it as not wanting to fall into any pre-defined category that people have; or that i perceive there to be.

    i guess i just want to be seen as me, for who and what i am – and not as part of some group that has set characteristics. like, based on the field i work in, you’d assume things about me. individual identity is very important to me…but i guess no matter what field you’re in, you run the risk of being chucked into a group in some people’s minds.

    speaking of cages, check out the section called “The Cage” on

    http://dreamlife.wordpress.com/2007/01/15/leaving-the-procrasti-nation/

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