Winter’s approach brings with it the annoyance of wet weather. You’ll now need to pack one more thing on your way to work. These cumbersome objects are often a source of discomfort as they litter the lane-way with rain water and gouge people in the eyeballs on crowded walk ways. Here are creative uses for your brollies so you may appreciate their versatility while at work.
1. Mock fencing (mencing?)
2. Stage a Star Wars re-enactment – charge onlookers a viewing fees
3. Use it to deflect unwanted queries or persons from your employer allotted cubicle space by opening it directly in front of pesky visitors so that they are pushed back by the force of the umbrella opening.
4. Leave it open on the bench space behind your cubicle, put your sunnies on, place a little umbrella in your cup as you put your feet on your desk and lean back in your chair enjoying your luau inspired music (audible to all). Greet anyone who walks past with a smug satisfied smile as though you’re enjoying a vacation on a beach in
5. Close the umbrella and sit upright with it balancing on your head. Tell the OH&S representative that you’re working on your posture.
6. Don’t leave your cubicle without your umbrella. Even if you’re going to the loo.
7. Keep the umbrella next to you and keep stroking it from time to time. Also lean over and talk to it as though you’re touching its “chin” so people get the impression its your pet.
8. At random intervals during the day get up and do your best tap dancing impersonation with your umbrella as supporting act.
9. Use your umbrella as a spear to throw across the room in your best re-enactment of the tribal people in Kong.
10. Put it across the entrance to your cubicle and make people talk to you from behind the partition. They must knock to enter. When they do, you can remove the partition and allow them in. Can also be used as a stick to chase them out if you no longer want them bothering you.
Never a boring moment with your brolly. Feel free to add to this list.