Marriage, Part 4: When you’re pimped out by your own family

You know what I’m talking about. The casually and sometimes not so casually taken Rishta (proposal) appropriate shots that need to get processed, scanned, edited and emailed or if you’re very tech savvy, uploaded, edited and emailed on the very same day. Shots of you looking simple but pretty, preferably next to foliage. Not too much make up, none of your skunk wear outfits, you’ve even sometimes got a dupatta on your head. If you’re like me, you despise the dupatta shots and opt to ALWAYS put your scarf on instead.

Organising proposals is about the only time your family will comfortably pimp you out. There’s a complicated network of contacts that are recieving updates on your life to date followed by visual examples of your work, ie you. I’ve been on both ends of the rishta pictures scandal. There are shots that really make you feel for the guy. He’s gone to the efforts of having a professionally taken shot – complete with the latest goatee styles.

He’s got an air of confidence, yet humility around him. Sometimes I can pick up “wanker” in that air too. Rishta pictures are no good if the guys are not wearing suits. If you’re seriuosly looking for a wife dress yourself up boy. I don’t know if its the rebel in me or what but I am particulary partial to the sexy action shots. Lying down, hands on hips, sunnies all make my single girl day. I’ve witnessed pictures of my cousin’s beau languishing casually on his the floor of his room covered by thick red carpeting encased in a room decked out with red and yellow velvet. The stuffed toys in the background give away his softer side. He is a real catch.

Moving to the other extreme of the Hook up spectrum there are those awesome passport shots. There is, in my humble opinion no better way of sending a message to your future lovely. Short, sharp, concise – that’s a passport shot. Get yours today!

I enjoy looking at badly taken wedding shots where the “boy” in question is almost the worst looking fella in the crew. The bride and groom almost always over take everyone else in the shot and you see this poor creature sunk behind some one’s shadow. Um, good luck.

But finally I enjoy looking at pictures of scantilly clad men. Don’t shudder but I know of people who have been sent pictures of potential partners wearing but their inner wear. Taking too sexy for my shirt to a whole new level. How do these photos even make it out of their cameras? Do I care that you have a six pack? Well, actually I do but DUDE a little humility goes a long way!

There are ofcourse long shots, narrow shots, the you have a double chin shot and “there’s the bald patch” shots. I like the underexposed shots, I like the overexposed shots. The sleepy look, the bored look but most of all the “I’ll hurt you” look. Since pictures speak a thousand words I’m surprised no one has come up with a “Rishta Pictures” business idea.

I don’t know how I feel about the idea of being pimped out by your own family. I mean its worked for so many others right? Who am I to scoff? There are files stored on computers and emailed to networks. I dunno. Surely there are legal issues at stake here? Just imagine, being pimped out by your own family. And they claim ours is a conservative culture. Ai-yoo!

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5 thoughts on “Marriage, Part 4: When you’re pimped out by your own family

  1. hehe – i feel your pain; what about the “casually standing behind my sportscar” shot? reminds me of the excel spreadsheet i had to create for my uncle!

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