Marriage Part 11: Status

I get my dose of depressing marital news from my family (and their circle of influence). It seems people just will not let up. There is nothing you can’t get bang for your buck from. Yes, even Marriage!

It’s disgusting the way marriage has become a status indicator. I don’t think this is true of a specific culture. The Sugar Daddy, Trophy Wife, Younger Man/Cougar, Import/Export phenomenon prevails in the all parts of the world. In most cultures, the bride and groom are paraded on their “big day”. Be it at the prized bridal party table, at the stage/dias, around the entire town in a parade, on horseback, in the media,at long drawn out photo shoots, you name it!

Recently news of the royal engagement has caused major television stations to program hours of speculation about Kate Middleton’s bridal gown and such details of the big day as would concern the bride’s mother or maid of honour. While it’s indicative of my willful ignorance of pop news, I don’t know how many others would care to wonder about topics like Kate’s bridal bouquet or the winning caterer for Duchess-in-Waiting’s kitchen tea. Besides, they haven’t even set a date yet!

It isn’t enough that the wedding day is over emphasized as the single definitive day of a woman’s life (notice that men don’t care half as much), a marriage itself starts to garner scrutiny from the time a possible hook up stirs the dormant brain muscle of dearest aunty/uncle. Understandably in the England Jane Austen used to write about, a woman only really had a chance of marrying “up” to secure any kind of prosperity for herself. It appears to me that the modern day society reeked deep in egalitarian fights such as gay marriage is yet to fight a much messier battle with its ancient past.

It saddens me that marrying a doctor considers you lucky. Being a doctor is even better!

It’s upsetting that money and connections are sought by those who don’t even have financial stability to offer. If you mention you’re marrying Mary Pretty Face with the well connected family and large inheritance, you’re a lucky bastard.

It’s getting so bad that people no longer care if a man or a woman makes their child happy. They just need to know that they were able to get the most bang for their buck. I guess like most things, matrimony has veered very far from its original concept and become yet another example of human weakness. If you think this is bad, it gets worse!

People who only yearn for connections and an elevated status through matrimony also expect the woman/man to be homely, capable, loving and devoted. The same people conveniently forget these things when they’re looking for a partner for someone outside their family circle, ie, YOU. At that point, none of the status driven criteria enter their minds.

I am very naive about these things and am always upset by their discovery in our close social sphere. Wanting a leg up in life has to stop somewhere. Marriage is about managing not only your own ups and downs but the ups and downs of a family and an entire unit of people. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its hard. Having money, fame, beauty or political advantage doesn’t really come to the rescue of an ailing heart.

Where is the satisfaction in constantly borrowing from others? Please, let’s stop coasting through life on the hard work of someone else’s genius and start considering qualities of a successful marriage. The type you can’t analyse through a triple bottom line value.


5 thoughts on “Marriage Part 11: Status

  1. Pingback: World Spinner

  2. Yes, so what’s up with people wanting you to be all rounders? And what’s up with the extended family poking their nose into your business. I want to run away. To Mars.

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