Since my illustration abilities are limited at best, I’ll just write down some things I wish didn’t happen to me.
For a more robust experience, check out The Oatmeal. He is awesome.
1. Suburban dwellers coming to shop in town. They cannot cross red lights and have no concept of other people occupying laneways. They will (I think purposely) walk directly into you causing you to have a momentary spaz out to get out of their way.
2. Emo kids.
3. People who make a joke and follow it up with a robust laugh indicating required behaviour. If it’s really funny, people will laugh irrespective of your cue.
4. People who feel nervous during a quiet lift journey and make jokes like:
“Lunch time rush” when the lift stops at consecutive floors during lunch hour.
5. People who feel the need to perpetuate the dude from number 4’s behaviour by following up his numb nut comment with an equally numb nut retort.
Example: “Too Right. Grand tour”
No I don’t know what that means either.
6. A comment/observation that is stating the obvious but is actually intetened to flatter the recipient of said comment/observation.
Example: “You’re wearing green!”
7. Cubicle buddies that cannot make drink water without sounding like a camel taking in a gallon of milk.
8. Meetings booked during lunch.
9. Facebook tags.
10. Idiot clients who forget meeting times and what was discussed previously.
Client: You’ve written this in here. We don’t know what it means.
Me: I wrote that because you told me to.
There are SO many more. I’ll keep a running list. Feel free to add yours.