Love, God and the stuff in between

Every couple I see proves to me that we were made in pairs. God’s plan manifests in amazing ways. He shows Himself through His Creation. He floats through the similarity of features and the familiarity of gestures. He is Light. He is Love. Every feeling of love we feel toward another is but a reflection of His everlasting Love and concern for us. 

We were made in pairs. And I’m hopeful in  His Great Plan for me. But still this feeling lingers. 

At first I thought my heart would explode. The jolt to my system is always grave, deep, lasting. The first time, and every time. 

I don’t believe we’ll be happy together and I don’t believe I’m meant for you or you for me. But still, the feeling haunts. It lingers. Like a seedy ghost. Like the annoying friend you always want to ditch. Like a boomerang, designed to return.

In my struggle to push past my feelings, I have started harbouring others. I’ve started to wish you the best in this life and in the hereafter. I’ve started to wish you happiness, without me, despite me. I’ve started to wish that the strength of your character surpasses my first impressions of you. That it absolutely explodes and raises your ranks forever. I’ve started to wish you happiness. Because no one I know deserves it more. 

God is Love and to Him is my complaint. Show Mercy, Ya Rabb. 

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