Undeserving, Unappreciative

Compassion has its place in your dealings with people and in the generic make up of you. Its easier to forgive and forget when you’re younger maybe because the life you lead and the feelings you feel aren’t as significant as your grown up feelings. I really don’t know. It could also be that you’re still developing that sense of self and so are able more easily to let go of a past less aware than now.

Compassion has its place in foregoing personality flaws. If I weren’t the lucky recipient of the compassion of so many who have come in contact with me, I’d be a lonely soul. It can however have the same impact as a well intentioned but new Grand father/parent who spoils their first (grand) child.

Like with everything else in life, there are plenty of situations when you need to administer Compassion in some serious doses. There are others when you need perhaps out of Compassion to draw the line and push it back. It’s hard to pick when to hold out your hand to cease the barrage of poorly thought out human behaviour and when to draw them close to analyse and compassionately address.

When you’re younger and you’re going through life with wide-eyed optimism, you tend to simplify the problem of addressing problems. It either pisses you off and upsets you or it makes you happy or it’s hurtful. As you get older and the dreaded machinations of your mind press the importance of Why, you tend to detach yourself from the experience of receiving hurt, degradation or affection.

As you get older and start to discover yourself outside your many social constructs, you may find yourself downgrading the role of Compassion in your life. Not because you’re mean spirited but because you’ve now discovered certain “truths” that are going to help shape your expectations; from life and self.

I’m a compassionate person. So much so that it’s landed me in impossible situations where my only refuge became to turn on my heel and run. Compassion doesn’t solve everything and misdirecting it can ruin any chances of addressing the concerns that keep you up at night.

Compassion needs to be recognised, understood and reciprocated. I’m really only applying reciprocation to myself. Yes I need it done. Without it you’re pretty much bashing your hard head against a hard wall, making for some interesting clean up jobs.